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The Illiberal Attack on Family

I recently read a couple articles that dealt with the changing role of the family for an English assignment. Of course they were assigned articles, so I was unable to do my own research of the topic, but was forced to write solely on the information provided to me. But, I am not confined to such a narrow view point here, so I looked up some information.

The two articles I read were Karen Lindsey's "Friends as Family," and Barbara Kingsolver's "Stone Soup." Both articles are supposed to offer a perspective on the changing image and concept of family in the United States. However, both articles offer the same perspective of the concept of family in the United States, and more importantly, both are ridiculous.

Karen Lindsey's argument begins and ends in the opening sentence of her essay. She states simply that "the traditional family isn't working." This kind of brevity is unparalleled in the world of research. Surely, if her essay was any good (which it is not), she would have won the 1981 award for "shortest and most profound research completed by a feminist," at the annual National Organization for Women's awards ceremony.

Lindsey goes on to say divorce rates are high, and even those that stay married do so "under grim conditions." She cites domestic abuse rates to uphold her theory that marriage is worse for women than being single. The statistics say differently. For example, The U.S Department of Justice records the highest per capita rates of intimate violence towards women, between the years 1993-98, were among women ages 16 to 24. Currently the average age at marriage in the US is 26.8 years for men, and 25.1 years for women. This would mean that more women experience domestic abuse before they are married then they do after they are married.

Besides that, intimate partner violence only made up 22% of the violent crime against women between 1993 and 1998. This leads one to think that perhaps those, like Karen Lindsey, are trying to use violence against women to attack the family, as opposed to actually helping women avoid other forms of violent crime.

Also important is that Lindsey did not include any statistics that dealt with factors such as poverty rates among single parent households, or graduation rates among students in single parent households versus those in two parent households, or drug and alcohol abuse by children in single parent households versus children from two parent households.

According to the U.S Department of Commerce, nearly 60% of children living with just their mother were below or near the poverty line. Similarly, about 45% of children raised by divorced mothers and 69% of those raised by never-married mothers live in or near poverty.

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services states that "fatherless children are at a dramatically greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse. Even more startling, 75% of teenage suicides occur in households where a parent has been absent.

These statistics are absent from Lindsey's essay.

Another Issue that Lindsey raises in her essay is the concept of "the new narcissism." That is to say, the concept that people, since the 1960's are only concerned with themselves and their own pleasure or well being. This theory, which I am inclined to believe, is written off by Lindsey as a lie. She writes that the theory of "new narcissism" is only used by "apologists for the family," and it is "more than a myth. It's also a lie." After this, Lindsey goes on to address the differences between a myth and a lie, never fully explaining her statement.

Kingsolver, while never officially discussing the concept of the "new narcissism," does admit that "we're social animals." This is an interesting choice of words to describe the human need for interaction. Typically, when one thinks of an animal, one thinks of an organism obsessed with its own survival or well being; an organism that pursues groups because it is safer for them, not because they enjoy the company of other animals. This is why you typically see, on the Discovery Channel, a pack of Coyotes fighting each other for a scrap of food, but uniting in each others defense against an external threat.

In the end, neither essay offers a very good, or even acceptable answer to the many questions about the concept or image of the family in American society. Lindsey's essay distorts reality with one sided statistics, while denying most, if not all, aspects of the opposing viewpoint. That reason, among others, is most likely why her book, from which this essay is taken, went out of print a year after it was initially released. Yet it is still used in college english classes. This is, to say the least disheartening.
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